Satya: Discover your TRUTH
Letting go of Falsehood and Distortion of Reality
“I’ve been altering myself for so long to match whatever “look” is deemed hottest at the moment that I don’t even know what I actually look like anymore....... I am trying to strip myself down to my barest essentials so I can figure out where I begin and where the women the world told me to be begins. I’m going back to the starting line. I want to unlearn all the stuff that made me sick and angry. I DONT WANT TO COME TO THE END OF MY LIFE AND DISCOVER THAT I NEVER KNEW MYSELF. ”
Wow. That's deep! I've been reading. Love Warrior by Glennon Melton Doyle and I remember my mom asking me what it was about and at first I didn't know how to answer. I needed to really dive into the text and understand what I was reading. What I learned and loved about this book is it is a memoir about discovering your truth! Speaking your truth. Living your truth. SATYA. We have so many things we can disguise our true being with. Our hair, our clothes, change our bodies, change our jobs, change our location you name it. These things are circumstances. These are the tangible things. But our truth, WHO we are, remains constant. Yes we change, we learn, and we grow so our truth becomes more apparent but regardless wherever we go, who ever we are with, whatever we wear you can't change your truth. I loved this quote, which I am not sure who said it but it said you don’t have a soul. You are a soul, you have a body. Our bodies are merely a vessel that holds our soul.
Taking time to reflect on how this fits into my life. How do body image and my soul apply to me, Jordan Olivia? Growing up I had always been very thin and then after I graduated high school things changed, I got that freshman 15 and then some haha. I really didn't ever notice the weight but I remember constantly feeling like I needed to lose my love handles or get a flat stomach. Even at my thinnest I thought I could lose inches off of my stomach and needed a bigger booty. The way our society has developed this image of a women it can be really discouraging! You have to have a flat stomach with no waist, and a huge booty and thick thighs. But really if you have a big butt it better have no cellulite or stretch marks and you better have that waist snatched. Photo shopped pictures. Needless to say I constantly am being my biggest critic and comparing myself to others. I would try to do the newest booty squat craze or gluten free diet but let me tell you, I didn’t care enough about that to make it last more than a day. However, I had a turning point in my life. What I had to learn is how to love myself. When I look in the mirror to not tear myself down. I don’t want to be skinny, I don’t want to have a big booty, I don’t want a flat stomach, what I want is to be healthy. Mind. Body. Spirit.
It is a daily effort to take care of myself. To choose myself over my crazy sugar addiction. To choose myself over my daddy issues. To choose myself over my emotions. To choose myself over whatever negative impulses, people, or things that no longer serve me. I have to actively participate in the awareness and intention of my life. How I choose to let things affect me and what becomes of them. I noticed when I over indulge in sugar or food its usually because I am emotionally stressed out or have a lot going on. It is a coping mechanism. I have my days, my weeks, but I am becoming aware of my triggers and these patterns so when I do hit those low points I am able to recover and not make more bad decisions. It takes A LOT of work. It gets uncomfortable and at times I feel like giving up. But I have cultivated a strong mind and desire to be better that I use the tools around me to keep me on top. We always come out on top when we face hard situations and deal with it rather than not. I have amazing friends who are reminders and the burning desire to do better is stronger than the fear. The love I’ve cultivated for myself is stronger than anything else.
It’s interesting because I never really felt insecure until I stopped and listened to myself. It was then I realized the things I said about myself. The little comments that I’d make about myself became part of the little voice in my head I hardly even realized I did it. Sometimes I’d say things out loud and I’d sound ridiculous or people would point out how ridiculous I sounded. When I think about it I have always been this way. I had the privilege last Sunday to host a body image workshop for teens! I came out feeling truly blessed that I could be a vessel to guide these young girls through a yoga flow, discussion & meditation to help them discover self love within them. It was interesting seeing the girls slowly break out of their shells and be open to having discussions about things like body image. It truly took strength and a huge leap of faith to go to something like a body image workshop, and whether it was these girls parents idea or their own, I commend them for taking care of themselves at such a young age. When I was in middle school I think all I was worried about was when I’d get to go play outside so I can hang out with the boy I liked down the street.
My sister Micole read this quote at an event we hosted recently it stated: We all spend our twenties and thirties trying so hard to be perfect, because we’re so worried about what people will think of us. Then we get into our forties and fifties, and we finally start to be free because we decide that we don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of us. But you wont be completely free until you realize this liberating truth – nobody was every thinking about you, anyhow.” I want you to read that again! If you are in your twenties STOP worrying about what anyone else thinks, if you are in your thirties STOP worrying what people think, if you are in your teens, fifties, sixties whatever age, STOP. Don’t go a day further not loving who you are because your body looks a certain way. The people who are supposed to be in your life will love you for your true self. Begin to discover who you are beyond your flesh. We hold on to pain and suffering and it holds us back from being our true self. We have to strip the layers of worry, doubt, fear, whatever it is and break free. Go workout because it makes you feel good not because you need to lose weight! Go eat some healthy food because it’s keeping your body functioning for that AMAZING soul you have. Go discover all of the amazing things YOU have to offer. I find so much comfort and peace in knowing that no one can ever be me. No one brings exactly what I bring. The same goes for you! YOU, yes YOU, you are a gem, a one of a kind piece of art that is waiting to be interpreted through your own lens. So be kind to yourself and show the world your gifts. If you don’t know what they are, how freaking amazing is that! You have lots of exploring to do. If you know, keep digging! What I love about yoga and life is no matter how good we think we get, we can always get better! So don’t let any one, any body, anything hold you back in discovering who you are it is part of the growing experience. It is a scientific fact that we are here to grow and evolve, you know Darwinism and ish. Lol but really our impulse is to grow and evolve. Don’t get stuck in your body! YOU are amazing and deserve to be as great as you wish to be! Sending you lots of love and light on your journey. Remember to be patient and kind! I’ll leave you with this last quote by Rumi!
Sincerely,
Jordan Olivia