I have a deep deep love and connection with the lotus flower. Really any flower that unfolds and has layers, but the lotus holds a special place in my heart because of what it signifies. You can find a lotus flower in murky, dirty water and over time it blooms up out of the murky waters and when it emerges from the water’s surface into the air it begins to bloom and unfold. It opens to this beautiful flower sitting above the dirty water, unscathed. The same dirty water the lotus had to grow out of, was the SAME exact water that cleansed it at the surface. As the flower opens it reflects so much purity. In Buddhism the lotus is a sign of potential and purity, the flower represents an awakening and spiritual growth. This concept of going through adversity, hard times, DARK times only to come out on top a soft, beautiful symbol of light is remarkable to me.

I read this quote and in so many words it was about our journey not being so much about turning into SOMETHING new and changing but it is an Un-becoming. Un-becoming everything that isn’t really you in the first place. You see, when we are born we are at our purest state. We are unscathed. But at some point, we begin to attach all of these burdens, experiences, mistakes, karmic past you name it to who we are. But what if like the lotus flower, we use these dark times, the adversity to cleanse us. It’s almost as if the pain is burning away all of our impurities. We are to un-become that jealous person, to un-become that insecure woman, to un-become that self-sabotage, to un-become all of those limiting beliefs, to un-become whatever is holding you back. All of those things we have labelled ourselves with due to our past trauma, our past issues. This process takes time and it can get shitty but it is overall amazing and believe me it is a forever thing my bad habits still come creeping and I am queen of self-sabotage, but I know for damn sure, during DARK. DARK times I allowed that time to cleanse me and help me heal. Having a complete paradigm shift and allowing me to approach these situations with an open heart and gratitude. So that these karmic behaviors no longer haunted me. Consciously working to break free from the things that I once allowed define me. Things I just allowed to become simply a part of who I was, when they didn’t need to be. The un-becoming part is me detaching and removing this layer of dirt from what defines me. Removing the hurt. Removing the anger. Removing all of the insecurities. So, I can stand above all of the gunk, and stand in my light.

I recently watched this video of a woman and I can’t even remember exactly the whole thing or where I see it but, one thing she said that stuck was, life doesn’t happen to us it happens FOR us. This was the paradigm shift I needed. What I needed to un-become those things I had told myself. It helped me find appreciation for certain circumstances. We all experience hardship, and if you don’t I think that in itself is a struggle because you can’t relate to many things, almost being lost in its own sense…Anyway, how we come out of adversity is all about perspective. Do you approach the obstacle with resistance or do you let it happen, staying present and learning from the situation? When I look back the situations I resisted or refused to see, were the lessons I experienced over and over. It wasn’t until I stopped reflecting outwards and blaming other people that I allowed myself to learn from the experiences. As I began to reflect and understand that these experiences happened FOR me, I was able to un-become and unfold into light. No longer internalizing and compartmentalizing these struggles but actually SHEDDING them.

Don’t get me wrong, there is still a lot of work to do and this relationship with myself is a forever thing. However, it feels good to know that I have stepped outside of my own ignorance and into more conscious living. In this space I accept feeling alllll the feels. And I am able to recognize when I am overthinking things and self-sabotaging myself. In this space I allow myself to unfold, with no expectations. It allows me to un-become all of those titles I once held and to become this raw light, a beautiful lotus sitting above the murky waters.

So, when people are curious how I smile every day and why I don’t complain, this is how. Instead of fighting things and approaching life with resistance, try to just be open to what is coming your way. Allowing each experience to reveal a new layer of yourself. Instead of allowing situations to define you, learn the lesson and allow that situation to guide you back to your true self.

XOXO

Sincerely,

Jordan Olivia